


Let’s try together

by SlyKing



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Idiots in Love, Insecurity, M/M, Overthinking, Tony stark is trying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:26:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28893621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlyKing/pseuds/SlyKing
Summary: Bruce Banner has a bad habit of thinking too much. Tony tries to figure out what’s wrong. They try to do their best!
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Tony Stark
Kudos: 26





	Let’s try together

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first langage!  
> Sorry for the grammar or conjugation errors that may result... Feel free to report any mistake! :)
> 
> Comments always make me extremely happy! ❤

Thoughtful, Bruce looked out the window of his room. He had been feeling bad for several days but he had not yet determined the reason. All the muscles in his body were tense. Not because of the Other… it was something else. He couldn't put his finger on it, and it drove him crazy. Even though he tortured his mind, he didn’t understand. Alone, he was just going around in circles, wandering from the bedroom to the lab, from the lab to the bathroom, from the bathroom to the kitchen, from the kitchen to the bedroom. And so forth. Tony had gone on a business trip for a few days, but that didn’t bother him either. They communicated by texts, or by skype – thanks, technology ! 

Bruce rose slowly and advanced to the window, his hands joined behind his back. His eyes swept over the sea, which stretched out before him as far as the eye could see. He loved the horizon. This gave him a powerful sense of freedom that he was in great need of these days.Perhaps that was the crux of the matter: staying in an empty house with no specific purpose. His scientific advances were inconclusive and he had to admit that the despondency that harassed him did not help him to concentrate.

Tomorrow, he might come out.... Yes. Maybe. But to do what, exactly? And to go where? Bruce didn’t particularly want to try the big city experience again. The stress, the noise, the hustle... and then him. A perpetual danger. At any moment, the Other could decide to take over, and to destroy everything. Nothing stopped him. Neither bullets, nor bombs, nor nuclear explosions. It was a relentless thing. Bruce had tried to live with it, tried to appreciate it … But how? How could he manage to live with the images that remained engraved in his head? The images that turned in a loop... The cries. The massacres. Destruction. The wounded. The dead.

Bruce suddenly turned away from the window, pulling away from his dark thoughts. He went down the steps four by four and went out to get some fresh air on the beach. Loneliness grasped his breast but the sound of the waves breaking against the sand soon appeased the frantic rhythm of his heart. He closed his eyes and sat by the shore. The salty smell of the reef permeated his shirt, hair and skin.

The real root of the problem wasn’t really the Hulk. Bruce had always had the same fears, the same guilt… No. What was strange today was not to be a fugitive anymore. For years Bruce had fled the army and the government, trying to be forgotten. There was a specific goal in there: to preserve his blood, to make sure that no one gets their hands on him. Today, he no longer fled. Today, he was no longer anonymous. Today he was indeed Bruce Banner. A somewhat lost Bruce Banner, who lived in a wealthy home alongside a man who had abandoned part of his lifestyle for him. An essential part when we knew Tony Stark: shag. 

Funny, right? Tony Stark, ladies’ man, living with a man in all chastity. Bruce really wanted to laugh about it sometimes when he thought about it. But it wasn’t funny. No. Because Tony was probably not happy living that way. Oh, of course, when Bruce tried to tack the subject awkwardly, Tony immediately made a mockery of it with all the bad faith he knew how to show. But Bruce knew. He knew that if Tony didn’t really miss it today, it would happen sooner or later. The union of two bodies, perfectly synchronized. The caresses. The pangs of pleasure. The murmurs. The intensity of the feelings devoured by an ardent passion. Bruce had given up on that part of his life. He can’t play with the fire and his heart rate. But Tony had no reason to force himself to chastity, he who liked to have fun in this field, among others. How many times did he boast of his conquests when they were still only friends?

That is the real issue. Bruce was finally touching it. He forced the man who had chosen to share his life to endure an unpleasant situation. If Bruce now saw himself as an accomplished asexual – sexual pleasures were no longer really part of his desires – Tony was … Well, what was he? Bisexual falling in love with a man? In love? Tony Stark? Two rather incompatible terms. They never said I love you, and all that nonsense. Bruce didn’t think it was important or even necessary. Words are a small thing. So he didn’t expect anything in return. The two men were bound by a strong sentimental bond, of course. But without sex, how did that make them a couple? A few kisses exchanged, tender hands passed through the hair, an arm holding a waist? Very close friends would have had exactly the same attitude. Yet Bruce did not need a fleshly desire to recognize his feelings. But could Tony say the same? Could he say the same thing in a year or two?

Bruce dropped on his back. The sky was completely clear. Not a cloud. But the sun’s rays were icy. It was not hot at this time of year. The wind came from the West, bringing with it the freshness of a winter that was fast approaching. The sand, however, still seemed to possess a comforting warmth. A long sigh came from Bruce’s lips. He would probably try to have that same conversation with Tony. And that same conversation would be taken lightly again. It was a fatality: things were rarely taken seriously with Tony. This guy was a kid, and he had the bad faith that went with it. He avoided problems by ignoring them. One day, he would have no other solution but to face it… Bruce was afraid of that day. The longer they delay the deadline, the more painful the situation would end up. Tony would end up going somewhere else. He would not do it out of malice; it would be enough for a tension, a dispute – even a tiny one – of one glass too many, of a beautiful woman, or of a beautiful man… And Bruce would remain silent. He knew that too. He would see Tony come home, smell another on his clothes and skin as he kissed him. But he wouldn’t say anything. Maybe he’d even smile at him. He’d understand. And Tony would blame himself. He’d do it again. And so on. Until they destroy each other.

* * *

“You’ve been looking a little bit since I got home.”  
"Really? Excuse me." Bruce said, putting his bowl in the dishwasher.

Tony put his butt on the work surface, looking thoughtful, without ceasing to stare at Bruce. Bruce felt his gaze on his back like a laser.

“You stayed locked up like a lion in a cage, no wonder... What would make you happy, tell me? Now that I’m home, you can go to the other side of the world in a snap! Just ask me.”

Tony’s tone was always so nonchalant... So carefree. Bruce turned to him, amused. His frivolity was contagious.

“We don’t have to go to the other side of the world, the terrace will suffice.”  
“So be it!”

The night was calm. The wind was blowing, making the sea restless, but the echo of the waves was part of the night silence. Tony leaned against the railing while Bruce’s gaze was lost again on the horizon. Going to the end of the world might have been an idea for a while. They could have lived some fun adventures, discover civilizations, explore, revel in different cultures... But again, that would have just circumvented the problem.

"What is it, Bruce?" Tony’s voice was caressing. More serious, more concerned. Bruce bowed his head, staring at the waves breaking against the rocks. A small bitter smile was born at the corner of his lips. Would they really be able to talk this time?  
“We’ve been living together for seven months. As a couple, I mean.”

Tony suddenly rested his glass on the tray.

“Oh boy! Is that it? I missed an important day in our relationship? What was it? Uh... the first kiss? The first scientific experiment we did together? The…”  
"Not at all." Bruce stopped him with a laugh.  
"Ah, good." Tony put a hand on his heart theatrically. "I escaped the marital crisis, thank God!"  
"Do you think I’m one of your capricious exes?"  
“I have a great deal of affection for Pepper, but, Heavens, that she strayed from the conventions! She had learned to put water in her wine, but … Well, yeah. We don’t talk about our exes.”

Bruce shrugged his shoulders but remained silent for a while. No, he was not jealous of Tony’s exes. Not even Pepper whom he held in high esteem.

“You can tell me about it, even if it’s awkward.” Bruce pushed Tony’s shoulder with his finger.  
"Hey, are you getting violent, Dr. Banner?"

Tony gave him a nudge, snatching a new smile from Bruce that silence collected soon enough. He felt the gaze of his companion upon him, ceaselessly. A gaze that no doubt tried to probe the depths of his thoughts.

“Don’t you miss it?” Bruce said head-on.  
"What could I miss?"  
“You know. The part … Physics. Sex...”

A slight silence ensued.

“You know what I miss? The Raiders. It was like a Twix with a hilarious commercial! It was on TV in the eighties, and it was good. I miss that.”

Bruce just nodded and took off his glasses. Okay. Change of strategy.

“I remember. You couldn’t resist the taste of caramel...”  
“Anyway, I prefer Reese’s. Less pleasure, more consistency.”  
“It stays on your stomach after a while.”  
“It’s better for the body, so you don’t fall for other chocolate bars. At my age, I have to keep the line!”  
“If you want to gain a few pounds, I won’t blame you.”  
“All we have to do is eat salad. And tomatoes. The two together, they say it’s a delight...” Bruce looked up at him with surprise. “Yes, if you’re wondering, I stopped the metaphor. We’re talking about salad. Green and fresh... And frankly, this is the saddest conversation I’ve ever had in my life. Seriously.”  
“The salad or your extra pounds?”

The two men looked at each other for a moment before bursting into laughter. They were as ridiculous as each other. Bruce shook his head.

“Forget it. I’ll go to bed and we’ll just … order a steak for tomorrow night.”

Bruce entered the house, leaving Tony in the company of night and waves.

* * *

They hadn’t talked about it since that night. It seemed to have become taboo. Prohibited. Their lives, however, remained unchanged. They talked, worked, and lived together. On the other hand, Bruce refused all closeness; the hugs, the kissing sketches, the caresses. All the gestures would die in the void, encountering the most total incomprehension. Because, no, Tony didn’t understand the turnaround. He didn’t understand what was going on in Bruce’s head to push him away like that. This couple was not functioning as usual. The women he had known before were reassured by a gesture, an embrace, a gift. Bruce was neither materialist nor in search of boundless affection. Tony didn’t have any other assets. He was trying to talk about work. In those moments, in the laboratory, their complicity was intact. But as soon as a form of intimacy was established between them, Bruce erected barriers and dug a ditch that separated them more and more.

Tony was scrambling to find a solution, but what if Bruce wouldn’t even let himself in? The outings to the restaurant or the cinema left him indifferent and even made him rather uncomfortable. Gifts, let’s not talk about it: it was worse. Tony once gave him a watch, Bruce almost had a stroke. As for the hugs, they were almost never accepted without a certain tension. The sweetness was more and more absent. Of course, Tony knew the fears of his companion, he wasn’t stupid, but what’s the point of talking about something that wouldn’t happen? Bruce was contemplating his infidelity. Somewhere, it was vexing... A bit flattering, no doubt... But still! Didn’t he trust him? … Yeah… He probably had a lot of reasons to be suspicious, given the past episodes of his life. But Tony really wanted to be a good person. For Bruce he really wanted to be a good person. He didn’t even force himself, everything seemed natural. Or almost. If only he could read his partner’s thoughts.

That morning, Tony was watching Bruce work. He was focused on a small laser, the eyebrows gathered behind his glasses. Cute and adorable. These were the words that best defined Banner when he thought. The billionaire approached his companion from behind to come and embrace him and lay a little kiss on his temple.

"Why don’t we go out tonight before I leave for the Chicago convention?"

Bruce rested his utensils on the wooden table and strayed slightly from his embrace. Tony’s arms fell back along his body.

"Uh... Yeah. Why not. You got ideas in mind?"  
“A nightclub in the city centre?”  
"Are you kidding?"  
"What do you think?"

Bruce smiled before crossing his arms over his chest as he looked at him.

“Why don’t we just take a walk on the beach?”  
"You love this beach, don’t you?"  
"Yes." This time, Bruce had a sincere smile on his face.  
“Hmm. But I’m not sure I want to share you with her.”  
“She’s the one who stays when you leave.”

Tony knew it wasn’t a reproach. Bruce never did it to him, not on those things. In fact, he was a very flexible man. He had never been jealous and understood his frequent departures, his meetings. Yes. Bruce was a good guy. And a nice guy deserved every effort in the world.

“Oooh, you’re breaking my heart.”  
"Your heart?"  
“Yeah, I’m telling you. It’s booming against my rib cage.”

Tony gently grasped Bruce’s hand in his to put it against his chest but he withdrew.

“That is an extremely old-fashioned flirting plan!”

Bruce smiled mockingly at him before returning to work. A deep sigh escaped from Tony’s lips, who gave a slight pat on the buttocks of his companion before going elsewhere to take a walk. Well what? He didn’t want the marshmallow, so he had to give it back! 

Bruce glanced at him in the corner; he did not look offended, he smiled. A smile: nothing was lost. Tony grabbed a utensil and pretended to ignore his companion the rest of the afternoon, if not to exchange a few words about their work together. When the alarm went off, telling them it was time to take a break (which they usually never respected), Tony slipped away without a word to go change. Knowing that Bruce would be uncomfortable with too formal a tone, he settled for a shirt and a bottle of champagne. The rest was already installed on the beach for a perfect romantic evening. A few toasts to nibble on, a nice view, a scientist all willing to talk about quantum physics. Tony was asking for nothing but that life. Apparently, it was hard to understand. 

JARVIS informed Bruce that Tony was waiting for him on the beach, a few steps from the villa. A slight sigh crossed his lips as he left the laboratory. The sea air soon made him feel better, however. Nosing out was not a bad thing. He dipped his hands in his pockets and joined Tony. He had a small guilty smile when he discovered the romantic evening that his companion had prepared for them. It wasn’t as extravagant as it could have been, and Bruce was grateful. He took a slight inspiration, trying to stick to his first resolution: remoteness. He felt like he was pushing Tony to go elsewhere, to leave him without a word. But Tony was holding on to him and making things difficult. Bruce would have liked to be relieved, because he knew Tony cared about him, but he couldn’t.

“Good evening, Dr. Banner.” Tony smiled at him in the corner and approached him in a swaying gait.  
“Hi.”  
“I’ve missed you these days,” said Tony, from the inside out. It was not in his habits, yet he sometimes was abruptly sincere in the tone of the joke.  
“Didn’t we just spend three days working together?”  
“You know what I mean.” Tony smiled at him before serving him a glass of champagne.  
“I don’t drink, Tony.”  
“A drop!”  
“Tony…”  
"A tiny drop!"

Bruce sighed but agreed to dip his lips in the glass. He always gave in to Tony, no matter what, no matter what his resolutions were. It frightened him. He would have liked to be stronger, less cowardly.

“To our professional and personal collaboration!”

Their glasses clashed but Bruce did not aim any more. He merely looked at the horizon, sitting in a suit on the napkin lying in the sand. Tony passed an arm around his shoulders and Bruce immediately froze. He rested his glass and straightened up.

“Bruce…” Tony began by looking up at him.

Bruce made the mistake of looking at him. He looked strangely lost, perplexed, and wounded. Bruce dipped his hands in his pockets and turned his head, embarrassed, guilty. Making him unhappy was the last thing he wanted. Precisely.

“You accused me of running away from my problems one day, you know - yes, yes, I was listening to you! Well, maybe you should take your own advice, Brucie."

Bruce glanced at him, but did not comment. How could he have argued when he wanted to run away at this very moment? To go out to sea, to find himself alone, far from everything. He had thus lived for years. Always, in fact. Hidden from the eyes of others, from his own eyes. Discreet when his father put himself in a mad rage. Silent when he had killed his mother. Erased during his adolescence and for a good part of his life. Then the problem had changed; Hulk had forced him to go on the run, to break the bonds he had managed to create. Fear had almost always ruled his life. And now he needed to flee. If he wasn’t fleeing the government, then he was fleeing Tony. He was fleeing himself, his own feelings. He was fleeing a stability that held out his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he ends up whispering.

Tony had risen. He was facing him. Bruce looked at him for a moment. He stepped forward. Tony’s arm closed around his waist. Bruce placed his forehead against his companion’s shoulder. Tony drew him against him.

They remained thus for long minutes.

Later in the evening, Bruce sat on the edge of the bed in their common room and placed his glasses on the bedside table. He heard Tony’s footsteps on the stairs and felt his presence behind his back a few minutes later. His companion sat beside him and gave him a slight elbow before passing his arm around his waist.

“The Stark consultation is open. And for you, it’s free. What’s in your little head, Brucie?”  
"Excuse me... It’s just that... I hate myself for forcing you into this life."  
"Do you seriously think you’re forcing me to do anything? You think a little too much, Dr. Banner! That’s the diagnosis."  
“But you’re not going to tell me anything, the day it doesn’t work out for you. So how am I supposed to… How am I supposed to know that I have to leave?"  
“Because it will always suit me! It may not have crossed your mind, but I’m not … Well, that’s good enough for me. What we have. That’s enough for me. I trust you. Why can’t you try to do the same? I screwed up, yes. A lot of times. I screwed up. I try to do my best, though. I know it’s not enough - it’s never been enough for anyone - but…”  
“Hey, Tony…” cut Bruce with a very firm softness. “No, it’s not…It’s not that at all. We all screwed up. That’s not stopping me from trusting you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t, I assure you.”  
Tony looked at him, skeptical, but nodded his head. Bruce added:  
“It’s not about trust. It’s not about you. It’s just… It’s a lot to digest, you know. Two years ago, I couldn’t even imagine myself there. I couldn’t imagine any stability. I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with anyone. Least of all with someone like you. I have total confidence in you, Tony. That’s the problem. I got too attached but I also know I’m not enough.”

Tony passed a hand over his face, while he directed this little information. He breathed a sigh and then straightened his head, staring at the landscape through the window.

“You know what I’ve learned over the past few years? That we don’t know what the future holds for us. So let’s just enjoy this moment. You. Me. My beautiful self. Your beautiful you, too. Slightly less beautiful than me, but still.”  
"You think you can catch me with those nice words?"  
"The proof... It works." he said with a smile, drawing him closer to him.

Bruce’s shoulders relaxed and he passed his arm around Tony’s waist in turn. His companion laid a kiss on his temple.

“The present is nice,” added Tony. “I’ve spent too much time worrying about the future, and given the results, you and I need to stop spending money. So stay right here in the moment with me.”  
“I’m going to try.”  
“Let’s try together.”  
“Together. Okay.”

Bruce’s head rocked over Tony’s shoulder and he closed his eyes. His shoulders relaxed and a light smile came to life in the corner of his lips. He felt good for the first time in a long time. And, for the first time in a long time, he knew that something could work without him having to run away or hide it.


End file.
